Wallahu'alam.
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http://muslimmatters.org/2010/01/04/lessons-from-surah-yusuf-%E2%80%93-part-1-sibling-rivalry/
The unique quality about the story of Prophet Yusuf [علیہ السلام] is that it has been narrated in one go in the Quran, and it has been described by Allah as “Ahsan Al-Qasas” - the most beautiful of stories. This is because it has a beautiful example of human nature that can guarantee us success should we choose to adopt and follow it in our personal lives.
The way it has been narrated, providing dialogue and details of what happened to Prophet Yusuf at the different phases of his life, throws light on the ways people dealt with him throughout his young years, and how his consistently good reactions to their actions ultimately worked in his favor and led to his success.
Yusuf was one of twelve sons of Prophet Yaqoub [علیہ السلام]. His ten older brothers felt envious of the love and affection felt for him and his younger brother by their father.
إِذْ قَالُواْ لَيُوسُفُ وَأَخُوهُ أَحَبُّ إِلَى أَبِينَا مِنَّا وَنَحْنُ عُصْبَةٌ إِنَّ أَبَانَا لَفِي ضَلاَلٍ مُّبِينٍ
Now [Yusuf's brothers] spoke [thus to one another:] “Truly, Yusuf and his brother [Ben Yamin] are dearer to our father than we, even though we are so many. Behold, our father is surely suffering from a clear misguidance!” [12:8]
A few points to consider when evaluating the cause of this situation: It could be that Prophet Yaqoub actually did express more love and affection for his youngest two sons. However, given that he was a Prophet of Allah, this is highly unlikely. First, he already had 8 older sons – so why would he feel especially inclined towards the youngest 2? Second, why would he display open affection for Yusuf and Bin Yamin, when he was well aware of his older sons’ nature? This knowledge of his is obvious when he replies to Yusuf about the latter’s dream of future success and high worldly status (including becoming a Prophet):
قَالَ يَا بُنَيَّ لاَ تَقْصُصْ رُؤْيَاكَ عَلَى إِخْوَتِكَ فَيَكِيدُواْ لَكَ كَيْدًا إِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ لِلإِنسَانِ عَدُوٌّ مُّبِينٌ
[Yaqoub] replied: “O my dear son! Do not relate your dream to your brothers lest [out of envy] they devise an evil scheme against you; verily, Satan is man’s open foe! [12:5]
The sons of Prophet Yaqoub were in the habit of thinking negatively, and prone to envy. It is clearly observed among people that some may possess stronger emotions than others, or a negative trait that another may not have at all. For example, some people are more short-tempered – easily flying into a rage at trivial matters. Others are impatient; they cannot stand waiting for what they want; they desire immediate gratification. Still others are extremely emotional – they jump to conclusions about things and get depressed, euphoric, despondent, or grief-stricken at the drop of a hat. It is highly likely that, having raised his older sons, Prophet Yaqoub had identified their envious nature.
Not only that, but as Yusuf flowered into a handsome, talented youth, Prophet Yaqoub recognized his imminent prospects of success: wisdom, knowledge, lofty manners, gracious conduct when dealing with others, and last but not least, physical beauty. It is also probable that, even before hearing the account of Yusuf’s dream, he had a strong inkling that Yusuf would be chosen as a Prophet. His intuition was confirmed when his beautiful son confided his dream to him.
As a parent to young children, I can testify to the fact that a person’s future personality, comprising positive as well as negative traits, which they will display as an adult, is apparent to his or her parent from a very young age. For example, qualities such as neatness and organization, pro-activeness in accepting and discharging responsibilities, eloquence and effectiveness of verbal expression, empathy and compassion for the lesser privileged, whole-hearted, unprompted sharing and giving, and eagerness to obey elders – these and other positive traits are apparent as early as age 2.
Therefore, we can conclude that it was not that Yusuf tried to outshine his older brothers. He just did, because he had been blessed with numerous positive qualities from his Creator. This was something that his father recognized very early on.
Lastly, sibling envy/rivalry is an innate human emotion and weakness, especially when it involves competing for the attention, love or approval of a parent. Throughout my teen years, I have had friends who had issues with siblings. Being one of two children myself, there were times when I too, flew into a rage when my brother got something that I did not have. Even if I knew that he had taken our mother out for errands and they had lunch at some fancy place, I felt a pang of envy. I’d also half-jokingly tell Mum that she owed me a lunch at the same place with her, too. 
Sisters might sometimes secretly rival each other over good looks, clothes, accessories and popularity in school. Sadly, I have also had the very painful experience of watching two sisters, who had been otherwise extremely close (akin to bosom buddies), grow apart to the point of not speaking a word to each other, over a guy in their college. I also personally know of two other sisters belonging to the previous generation, the younger and prettier one of whom got involved with, and eventually married, the fiancé of the older one. They did not speak for years.
Therefore, everyone can vouch for the fact that when siblings fight, they mostly do because one is covetous/envious of the other’s possessions – this starts from a very young age. It is the reason why, a 2-year-old will try to pinch, hit, or bite the newborn sibling that has just arrived, because he or she has never seen his or her mother loving, feeding and carrying around anyone younger than himself. Similarly, that is why a girl in her early twenties will forbid her prettier younger sister from appearing before a family visiting their house to negotiate a prospective marriage proposal. And, that is why, a young guy will sulk in a corner when his older brother graduates summa cum laude from the prestigious institution of his dreams, into which he did not qualify enough to gain admission.
Envy blinded Yusuf’s brothers’ sense and judgment, until they devised a plan to eliminate – yes, eliminate – him from their lives. It is obvious throughout the narration of Surah Yusuf that they had not inherited their father’s intrinsically pure, good Prophetic nature, relentless fortitude and positive thinking. How could anyone plot to kill off another, no matter how much envy he feels? However, a little reflection reveals that the first ever murder of mankind was also committed by one of two blood brothers, and its basis was one’s envy at the acceptance of his brother’s sacrifice by Allah, combined with rage at having his own sacrifice rejected [reference- 5:27].
Therefore, the potential harm of sibling envy or rivalry cannot be undermined. The motive Yusuf’s brothers hoped to achieve by his murder was having their father’s exclusive attention and love (“wajh”), which they felt was more inclined towards Yusuf than them:
اقْتُلُواْ يُوسُفَ أَوِ اطْرَحُوهُ أَرْضًا يَخْلُ لَكُمْ وَجْهُ أَبِيكُمْ وَتَكُونُواْ مِن بَعْدِهِ قَوْمًا صَالِحِينَ
[Said one of them:] “Kill Yusuf, or else drive him away to some [faraway] land, so that your father’s regard may be for you alone: and after this is done, you will be [free to repent and to live once again as] righteous people!” [12:9]
However, as most negative thoughts deplete a person of rationality or wisdom, they did not pause to think that adopting the beautiful character, manners and conduct that Yusuf embodied would have been the recommended and praiseworthy route to achieving the same objective. Rather, Satan suggested the negative and destructive route to them, and they fell into his trap:
مِن بَعْدِ أَن نَّزغَ الشَّيْطَانُ بَيْنِي وَبَيْنَ إِخْوَتِي
[Yusuf said]… “after Satan had sown discord between me and my brothers.” [12:100]
The lesson for us in this incident is that envy – particularly that which is felt towards a sibling who is more talented, morally upright and physically beautiful – is a negative and destructive trait that can cause us to commit a major sin if not curbed in time.
The most effective way of curbing envy and repelling the negative thoughts that it causes, is to (i) focus on our own strengths, instead of comparing ourselves with our sibling/object of envy, and (ii) proactively work hard to polish our talents to achieve success in the niche that Allah made us to naturally excel in. Allah’s help descended for Yusuf when one of the plotting brothers themselves, who was an active part of their murderous scheming, suggested that Yusuf not be killed, but thrown into a well and picked up by passing caravans.
The important lessons we can glean from the initial portion of Surah Yusuf are thus:
- Envy is an extremely destructive emotion, which can rip apart even close, familial relationships within a home. The worst harm it inflicts is on the envier himself, who is prevented from personal improvement and professional advancement because of constantly monitoring, observing, and plotting and planning against the object of his envy.
- Parents need to be very careful when expressing their love towards their children. If they praise one, they should express some form of love or praise for the other children present, within the same time-frame and physical setting, in order to prevent envy from being born in their hearts.
- The same can be said about favoring some children over others whilst giving gifts. Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] forbade giving a gift to one child/adult offspring without giving the same to the others:
Nu’maan ibn Basheer said: “My father gave me a gift of some of his wealth, but my mother, ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah, said, ‘I will not approve of it until you ask the Messenger of Allah [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] to bear witness to it.’ So my father went to the Prophet to ask him to bear witness to the gift. The Messenger of Allah [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] said to him, ‘Have you done the same for all of your children?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Fear Allah and treat your children justly.’ So my father came back and took back that gift.”
[Sahih Al Bukhari, Muslim]
How often we see parents deliberately choose to give the best clothes and jewelry (usually the precious family heirlooms) to their eldest (or most beloved) daughter, if they have only girls (of course it is anybody’s guess who will get the family heirloom if they have a son!). Or, when they choose the most well-qualified, well-placed, highest-earning son to bequeath their house to after all their children are married off, so that they can dwell therein with him in their old age, as his job has the best medical plan for dependents? Or the most common scenario (at least here in the Asian and IndoPak region:) when parents choose their son to get the family business as a bequest, while the daughters get just a few appliances, jewelry, clothes and furniture at their weddings as compensation/consolation? In some Muslim families, its common to see the son get the more pricey education (as an investment), whilst daughters are made to sit at home beyond high school or Intermediate, waiting to get married, even if they are more talented or if they want to pursue higher education.
How often parents ‘pick and choose’ which of their children to give which blessing/asset to, solely out of selfish motives geared towards safeguarding their own future interest? Is it not a grave error, one which they should fear Allah about? Will they not stand before Him one day, answerable about why they chose to give one child something better than the other children?
Parents should, therefore, fear Allah regarding their children, in order to not just obey Prophet Muhammad’s command, but also to prevent any deep-rooted, psychological impact on their children’s psyche caused by envy and malice, and not give preference or more love to any offspring more than his or her siblings, as a personal “future investment”.
- If you are talented, religiously practicing, gifted, physically very good-looking, charismatic in nature, and enigmatic in persona, you are bound to be the object of others’ envy throughout your life. Very few people can tolerate someone who “has it all” – the love of people, worldly success, all-around popularity, a picture-perfect family, a charming and attractive personality, multi-faceted talents, superfluous wealth, spotless character and reputation, unflinching guidance towards the Haqq, and Islamic deeds that are at par with the scholars of the era. For such people, facing the sometimes illogical and unexpected antagonism of close relatives and old “friends” gives a great blow to their psyche and confidence, because they do not expect their own kith and kin to turn against them. However, it happens.
Whenever it does, the example of the young Yusuf should be brought to mind, who was mercilessly tossed into a well by ten of his own blood brothers! Nay, before that they even considered murdering him, proceeding to plot how to go about it. In front of his calamity, our own circumstances automatically pale in comparison.
- Further, Yusuf’s case should strengthen our trust in Allah, that even if a group plots against us, Allah can inspire any one of them to avert a bad end for us, just the way one of the ten brothers himself suggested that instead of murder, kidnapping should be carried out. Allah says in the Quran:
قَالَ قَآئِلٌ مَّنْهُمْ لاَ تَقْتُلُواْ يُوسُفَ وَأَلْقُوهُ فِي غَيَابَةِ الْجُبِّ يَلْتَقِطْهُ بَعْضُ السَّيَّارَةِ إِن كُنتُمْ فَاعِلِينَ
Another of them said: “Do not slay Yusuf, but rather – if you must do something – cast him into the dark depths of this well, [whence] some caravan may pick him up.” [12:10]
Last but not least, this portion of Surah Yusuf teaches us about staunch, unending positivism – the strategy of turning your ardent enemy into a best friend. This strategy is seen in the reactionary demeanor of Prophet Yaqoub, when his sons did what he had feared – they eliminated Yusuf from their lives. He said:
قَالَ بَلْ سَوَّلَتْ لَكُمْ أَنفُسُكُمْ أَمْرًا فَصَبْرٌجَمِيلٌ وَاللّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ عَلَى مَا تَصِفُونَ
[But Yaqoub] exclaimed: “Nay, but it is your [own] minds that have made [so terrible] a happening seem a matter of little account to you! But [as for myself] patience in adversity is most goodly [in the sight of Allah]; and it is to Allah [alone] that I pray to give me strength to bear the misfortune which you have described to me.” [12:18]
He did not stoop to their level of deception and crime. Instead, He turned to ask Allah for help, whom he knew to be the real caretaker of Yusuf’s and his affairs.
In the next post, in particular, we will see how Yusuf was further tested and how Allah planned for him to be rescued from the well, insha’Allah.
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Lessons From Surah Yusuf – Part 2: Trials and Temptation
http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/01/lessons-from-surah-yusuf-%E2%80%93-part-2-trials-and-temptation/
After the brothers of Yusuf [علیہ السلام] threw him into a well, the trial of both Prophet Yaqoub [علیہ السلام] and his would-be Prophet son commenced. What the young Yusuf must have felt as he clung to the walls of the well for his life, we can only imagine, as I am sure none of us have had our siblings do such a thing to us. However, Allah was fully in control of his affair, even though it looked like his brothers – the apparent “bad” guys – had gotten away with their ill-intentioned treachery. The incident of the well turned out to be good for Yusuf in the long term as Allah, the All-Knower had intended.
The lesson for us at this point is to remember that even if someone close to us intentionally harms us, and it looks like we are the losers and that they have gotten away with it, we should strive to remain patient. The hope that the undesirable event might turn out to be good for us in the long term, and trust in Allah, should see us through such a trial. More often than not, this is exactly what happens. We might have heard the adage: ‘what goes around comes around’. People who intentionally wrong others eventually suffer the “evil karma” of their deeds even in this world, and sometimes, it so happens that the one they oppressed eventually has the upper hand or a more powerful position than them, a few years down the road.
photo courtesy: bbc.co.uk
Allah planned to save Yusuf’s life. He sent a caravan that way, which sent a water-drawer to dole out water from the well. Slavery being rampant at that time, the caravan-travelers were thrilled to find a young lad floundering in the well – because of the possibility of selling him off for a quick buck in the slave market.
وَجَاءتْ سَيَّارَةٌ فَأَرْسَلُواْ وَارِدَهُمْ فَأَدْلَى دَلْوَهُ قَالَ يَا بُشْرَى هَـذَا غُلاَمٌ وَأَسَرُّوهُ بِضَاعَةً وَاللّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِمَا يَعْمَلُونَ
Some travellers came that way and then dispatched their water-drawer who let his bucket down. He said, “Good news for me, I’ve found a boy!” They then hid him away among their goods. Allah knew very well what they were doing. [12:19]
Little did they know how precious Yusuf was! Would they have decided to sell him off had they known they had a future ruler in their possession; one who could foretell futuristic dream interpretations and judge between people with justice? No! Allah deliberately blinded them and made them oblivious to his as-yet-latent talents and knowledge, so that they would sell him for a few measly dirhams.
وَشَرَوْهُ بِثَمَنٍ بَخْسٍ دَرَاهِمَ مَعْدُودَةٍ وَكَانُواْ فِيهِ مِنَ الزَّاهِدِينَ
They sold him for a pittance, a few small coins, considering him to be of little worth. [12:20]
This was all part of Allah’s plan to dwell Yusuf in a well-off, respectable house in Egypt. This would not have been possible had he roamed around with the caravan as a slave or servant. His sale to a wealthy, well-established man in Egypt was Allah’s decree, because He planned for Yusuf to eventually rise in worldly ranks therein.
The lesson in this part of Yusuf’s life is that if people – family, schoolmates, friends or colleagues – undermine your talents, abilities, skills or knowledge where you live or work, do not let it lower your self-confidence or self-esteem. Imagine a young lad, a future Prophet to be appointed by Allah, a future ruler of the land, who had dreamt of the sun, moon and stars prostrating to him, standing dirty and bedraggled among other slaves, with shackles around their ankles, possibly herded inside cages like animals, on sale for a few dirhams to the elite upper crust of Egyptian society? How must he have felt to be separated from his family and to have become a vagabond this way?
However, whatever happened to him was a part of Allah’s plan, and did not in the least affect the good that he already possessed, or the further blessings that were to come his way a few years later. In this trial and hardship, he was actually being trained for his future role.
وَكَذَلِكَ مَكَّنِّا لِيُوسُفَ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلِنُعَلِّمَهُ مِن تَأْوِيلِ الأَحَادِيثِ وَاللّهُ غَالِبٌ عَلَى أَمْرِهِ وَلَـكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَ يَعْلَمُونَ
And thus We established Yusuf in the land, to teach him the true meaning of events. Allah was in control of His affair. However, most of mankind do not know. [12:21]
Allah wanted to teach him “Ta’weel al Ahadith” - how to get to the depth of matters, and all the adverse events that he went through were somehow a crash course in achieving that objective. We must also remember that those individuals who are born with silver spoons in their mouths, so to speak, or who have all luxuries of life, in addition to fame and fortune at a very young age, have to make an extra effort to learn life’s valuable lessons and the true worth of hard-earned money. They have a high chance of growing up to become “spoiled brats”, viz. pampered, unproductive adults, unless their guardians go the extra mile to train them in values of discipline, working to earn money, and giving in charity, despite having everything.
On the other hand, facing extreme poverty and impoverished circumstances during childhood and adolescence mostly brings out a youth’s best talents and makes him or her strong, hard working, humble and productive. Such an individual rises up from rock bottom and experiences poverty and hunger firsthand on his way up. When they resort to honest hard work, relying on the talents that their Creator has gifted them with, they rise to the top, because Allah grants them success as compensation even in this world.
An example of one such “icon” of the current age, who grew up in poverty and suffered partial separation from her parent(s), is a famous African American talk-show host and media maven; today, she is one of the most influential women in the world. Forbes.com says about her:
“Born in rural Mississippi, she spent her early years living in poverty on her grandmother’s farm. Wanting a way out, she moved to Wisconsin to be with her mother, but was sexually molested by her male relatives. At age 14, she reportedly gave birth to a premature baby who died. Only after moving to Nashville to be with her father did her luck finally start to turn.”
Every “self-made” person viz. who was not born into royalty or a wealthy family but who is successful today in worldly terms, inevitably faced tough times at some point during their lives, and lived through moments of dejection in which they doubted their talents, skills and abilities.
Therefore, the point I am trying to make is, that having a difficult, impoverished and deprived childhood or adolescence sometimes teaches valuable lessons, and imparts ”training for success” in life to a young individual. Such a person usually goes on to become self-sufficient, independent, humble, hardworking and a humanitarian as an adult, giving back from his resources to the under-privileged of society and actively reaching out to improve their lot.
The Aggressive Older Woman’s Call
When Aziz bought Yusuf, his heart was filled with care and love for the latter. He liked him so much, that he asked his wife to honor the boy and expressed his desire to eventually adopt him as their son.
وَقَالَ الَّذِي اشْتَرَاهُ مِن مِّصْرَ لاِمْرَأَتِهِ أَكْرِمِي مَثْوَاهُ عَسَى أَن يَنفَعَنَا أَوْ نَتَّخِذَهُ وَلَدًا
The Egyptian who had bought him told his wife, “Look after him with honour and respect. It’s possible he will be of use to us or perhaps we might adopt him as a son.” [12:21]
Actually, just as Pharaoh and his wife fell in love with a cute baby boy (Musa [علیہ السلام]) floating down a stream and took him in to raise as their son, Aziz’s affection for Yusuf, too, was again Allah’s Divine decree at work.
The lesson for us in this is that when Allah wants to dwell a person with honor and abundant provision in a comfortable place, he turns people’s hearts towards him, making them take them in with warmth and love. This happened with Prophet Musa [علیہ السلام] too, first when he was floating on a stream as a baby, and later when he fled Egypt and reached the watering place where two sisters were waiting. Their father, too, took him in as an employee under contract and immediately expressed his desire to make him his son-in-law in the future. Also, when Allah doesn’t will for a person to live in a certain environment (viz. the caravan that found Yusuf), he makes their hearts disinterested in him. Thus, he makes means for that person to move elsewhere. Such was what also happened to Prophet Musa [علیہ السلام], when he had to flee Egypt due to his having killed one of the Copts by mistake.
The fact that Aziz suggested to his wife that they eventually adopt Yusuf as their son, suggests one significant thing that becomes particularly relevant when we consider the events that would take place a few years down the road. It shows that there was a considerable age difference between Aziz’s wife and Yusuf. Perhaps she and Aziz were childless, or barren.
The word used to describe Yusuf when he was found from the well, is غلام (“ghulaam“), which, according to the rules of the Arabic language, is used for ”a young boy whose moustache is growing forth” i.e. a boy ranging in age from 12 to 17. We can thus conclude that Aziz’s wife was, therefore, some years older than him at the time she and her husband purchased him.
He lived with his ‘owners’ or foster parents until he reached his adulthood, whence Allah blessed him with wisdom and knowledge. His physical beauty, too, reached its peak.
وَلَمَّا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُ آتَيْنَاهُ حُكْمًا وَعِلْمًا وَكَذَلِكَ نَجْزِي الْمُحْسِنِينَ
And then when he became a full-grown man, We gave him knowledge and right judgement too. That is how We reward all doers of good. [12:22]
It is difficult to ascertain the cause behind what happened next. But it so happened that the woman in whose house he spent his adolescent years, growing up and maturing, who undoubtedly held a more dominant, authoritative and stronger position than him in the housheold, tried to get him to commit adultery with her.
وَرَاوَدَتْهُ الَّتِي هُوَ فِي بَيْتِهَا عَن نَّفْسِهِ وَغَلَّقَتِ الأَبْوَابَ وَقَالَتْ هَيْتَ لَكَ قَالَ مَعَاذَ اللّهِ إِنَّهُ رَبِّي أَحْسَنَ مَثْوَايَ إِنَّهُ لاَ يُفْلِحُ الظَّالِمُونَ
وَلَقَدْ هَمَّتْ بِهِ وَهَمَّ بِهَا لَوْلا أَن رَّأَى بُرْهَانَ رَبِّهِ كَذَلِكَ لِنَصْرِفَ عَنْهُ السُّوءَ وَالْفَحْشَاء إِنَّهُ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا الْمُخْلَصِينَ
وَاسُتَبَقَا الْبَابَ وَقَدَّتْ قَمِيصَهُ مِن دُبُرٍ وَأَلْفَيَا سَيِّدَهَا لَدَى الْبَابِ قَالَتْ مَا جَزَاء مَنْ أَرَادَ بِأَهْلِكَ سُوَءًا إِلاَّ أَن يُسْجَنَ أَوْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ
The woman whose house it was wanted to seduce him. She barred the doors and said, “Come over here!” He said, “Allah is my refuge! He is my Lord and has been good to me with where I live. Those who do wrong will surely not succeed.” She wanted him and he would have wanted her, had he not seen the clear proof of his Lord. That happened so We might avert from him all evil and lust. He was Our chosen servant.
They raced to the door. She tore his shirt at the back. They met her husband by the door. She said, “How should a man whose intention was to harm your family be punished for what he did except with prison or painful punishment?” [12: 23-25]
Was it only lust that drove her to aggressively desire him? Was it her power and authority over him that made her so zealous in his pursuit that she tore his shirt even after he turned her down and tried to escape? Or was she just aggressive by nature, not accustomed to having her orders defied? Was it her being much older in age than him, and holding an influential status in Egyptian society?
Perhaps a little of all.
Yusuf lived in the house with her and the other domestic staff whilst her husband was away at work, and it is probable that his youth and handsomeness being at a pinnacle caught her gaze. We know that the gaze is the starting point of zina or adultery, if left unchecked. In addition, “khulwah” or being alone with a person of the opposite gender who is not a mahrum, also becomes an invitation for Satan to call the shots towards adultery.
Another point to consider is the polarization of their intrinsic nature that could have caused this. She was quite obviously lacking in piety – as not only did she try to seduce a man while being married to another (within the walls of the latter’s house), but also resorted to slander when caught red-handed. Yusuf, on the other hand, was pious and benign, obedient to Aziz and loyal to the house. Therefore, it is possible that his good character encouraged her to think that she could get away with anything as far as he was concerned. It is not uncommon for people to take advantage of someone’s piety, honesty, and good conduct; for example, the woman who threw trash over Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم]; knowing that he’d never retaliate with an action at the same low level of evil probably gave her the guts to go on doing it.
Regardless of the motive behind her aggression, we should note the reason Yusuf gave for his refusal – he mentioned Allah and how well He had kept him in that house – and that committing this act would thus be a great wrong; a severe ingratitude of Allah’s blessings on Yusuf. Another interpretation of this statement made by Yusuf is that by saying, ”He is my Lord”, he meant Aziz (his “master”, who bought him as a slave), viz. that Aziz had given him shelter in his house and kept him there very well, and sleeping with his wife behind his back would thus be the greatest wrong Yusuf could do to him in return. Either way, Yusuf’s lofty morals, alert conscience towards sin, and inner strength in face of temptation is apparent here.
It was when he took this stand towards his oppressor that Allah turned away from him evil and adultery by making him see a “burhaan” – “clear proof”. Tafsir Ibn Kathir explains what this clear proof, or evidence, could have been:
“As for the evidence that Yusuf saw at that moment, there are conflicting opinions to what it was. Ibn Jarir At-Tabari said, “The correct opinion is that we should say that he saw an ayah from among Allah’s ayaat that repelled the thought that crossed his mind. This ‘evidence’ might have been the image of Yaqoub, or the image of an angel, or a divine statement that forbade him from doing that evil sin, etc. There are no clear proofs to support any of these statements in specific, so it should be left vague, as Allah left it.”
The lesson for us in this event is that we cannot place the blame for being weak in the face of temptation on anyone except ourselves. We cannot say, “Allah knows how difficult it is for me not to give in, with such temptation around me. He will not call me to account for such a trial.” Yusuf was young and unmarried; trapped inside a locked room with a woman calling him to herself – a woman dominant to him in social standing. Yet, not only did he openly refuse her, but ran when she persisted. It was when he refused outright that Allah’s help came to him, and he saw a clear proof that prevented him from wanting her too. Allah’s help comes when we take the first step to remove the temptation and avert it from ourselves.
Despite being caught by Aziz at the door, and being slandered by his wife; Yusuf spoke the truth in face of his oppressor:
قَالَ هِيَ رَاوَدَتْنِي عَن نَّفْسِي وَشَهِدَ شَاهِدٌ مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن كَانَ قَمِيصُهُ قُدَّ مِن قُبُلٍ فَصَدَقَتْ وَهُوَ مِنَ الكَاذِبِينَ وَإِنْ كَانَ قَمِيصُهُ قُدَّ مِن دُبُرٍ فَكَذَبَتْ وَهُوَ مِن الصَّادِقِينَ
He said, “It was she who tried to seduce me.” A witness from the household then declared, “If his shirt is torn in front, she speaks the truth and he has clearly told a shameless lie. If his shirt is torn at the back, then she has lied and he has clearly told the simple truth.” [12:26-27]
Thus, Yusuf’s innocence was publicly proven. Someone from among the household’s witnesses spoke up in his favor, turning everyone’s attention to his shirt’s torn part as the proof. Aziz believed his version of the event, and told him to turn away from the deeds of his wife.
فَلَمَّا رَأَى قَمِيصَهُ قُدَّ مِن دُبُرٍ قَالَ إِنَّهُ مِن كَيْدِكُنَّ إِنَّ كَيْدَكُنَّ عَظِيمٌ
يُوسُفُ أَعْرِضْ عَنْ هَـذَا وَاسْتَغْفِرِي لِذَنبِكِ إِنَّكِ كُنتِ مِنَ الْخَاطِئِينَ
He saw the shirt torn at the back and said, “The source of this is women’s deviousness. Without a doubt your guile is very great. Yusuf, ignore all this, and you, my wife, should ask forgiveness for your evil act. There is no doubt that you are in the wrong.” [12: 28-29]
Aziz’s good character again comes to light. He had always been good to Yusuf, and now he pardons his wife, telling her to repent for her deed, after her advances towards his slave had been publicly proved to him! It takes a man of great strength and character to let such an incident go and not see red. As the events that occurred thereafter prove, Yusuf continued to live in the house even after this, and the incident was most likely hushed up or covered.
However, Aziz’s wife was far from thwarted. When the local grapevine caught wind of this incident, the gossiping women mocked her pursuit of her slave-boy (since her guilt had been publicly proven by the shirt torn from the back). Incensed, she devised a plot to prove to them why she pursued Yusuf, and convened a “dinner party” for them, where she ordered Yusuf to enter upon them. (So much for letting the whole thing go as her husband had said!) Notice how Yusuf complied – obviously he was still upholding the high virtuous conduct that was in his nature.
This conduct should be a beacon for young Muslim men nowadays. The first thing a guy usually does when a member of the opposite sex expresses her interest in him, is to boast of his “conquest” to his circle at his school/college/office. The more exploitative of such men go ahead and ‘have a good time’ with the lady in question, even if they are not interested in her. As for Yusuf, not only did he forgive Aziz’s wife and overlook what she did to him (seduction plus slandering his chastity), but also continued to obey her as mistress of the house thereafter. This is what really “being a man” is! Forgiving women who are outright liars and slanderers, upholding virtuous behavior no matter what, and going on as if nothing ever happened.
As for the sense of “manhood” and “honor” that the world today associates with Muslim men, it usually involves an axe or a knife that is used to hack up or slaughter a “philandering” wife, daughter or sister, without possessing any proof of her supposed “infidelity” – a far, far cry from pardoning her even after her guilt is proven! We can contrast the lessons the Quran gives us about morailty to the present-day conduct of supposedly ”modern and educated” Muslim men towards their women. If they or their sons take girlfriends, it’s because “men will be men”, but if an unproven report of any of “their women” being involved with a man reaches them, they rush to get their axe or rifle for the hot pursuit and barbaric murder to restore their “honor”! Our Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] turned away and ignored the woman who came to him with an open confession of having committed zina, requesting to have herself stoned for the act. He kept turning away from her until her persistence made it clear that she would not relent in her request!
When Yusuf entered upon the party of gathered city women, being the benign server that he was, not suspecting the true intention behind his being sent in their midst, they were flabbergasted at his beauty.
فَلَمَّا رَأَيْنَهُ أَكْبَرْنَهُ وَقَطَّعْنَ أَيْدِيَهُنَّ وَقُلْنَ حَاشَ لِلّهِ مَا هَـذَا بَشَرًا إِنْ هَـذَا إِلاَّ مَلَكٌ كَرِيمٌ
When they saw him, they were amazed by him and cut their hands. They said, “Allah preserve us! This is no man. What can this be but a noble angel here!” [12:31]
Aziz’s wife then made her grand entrance with a gloating, “I-told-you-so” declaration:
قَالَتْ فَذَلِكُنَّ الَّذِي لُمْتُنَّنِي فِيهِ وَلَقَدْ رَاوَدتُّهُ عَن نَّفْسِهِ فَاسَتَعْصَمَ وَلَئِن لَّمْ يَفْعَلْ مَا آمُرُهُ لَيُسْجَنَنَّ وَلَيَكُونًا مِّنَ الصَّاغِرِينَ
She said, “You see! It’s him you blamed me for. I tried seducing him but he refused. If he does not do what I order him, he will be put in prison and brought low.” [12:32]
Yusuf suddenly realized that she was still in his pursuit, now armed with a vengeance to get back at him for having rejected her advances, and through the dinner party, she was taking the women in her social circle into her confidence as accomplices in her scheme for his entrapment. He realized their power over him (his status in society still being that of a slave) and that Aziz might be unable to save him from them this time. He hence did what only a morally strong person and a sincere slave of Allah can do – he opted for the prison cell:
قَالَ رَبِّ السِّجْنُ أَحَبُّ إِلَيَّ مِمَّا يَدْعُونَنِي إِلَيْهِ وَإِلاَّ تَصْرِفْ عَنِّي كَيْدَهُنَّ أَصْبُ إِلَيْهِنَّ وَأَكُن مِّنَ الْجَاهِلِينَ
فَاسْتَجَابَ لَهُ رَبُّهُ فَصَرَفَ عَنْهُ كَيْدَهُنَّ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ
He said, “My Lord, the prison is preferable to me than what they call on me to do. Unless You turn their guile away from me, it may well be that I will fall for them and so become a man of ignorance.” His Lord replied to him and turned away from him their guile and deviousness. He is the One Who Hears, the One Who Knows. [12:33-34]
Allah again responds to Yusuf’s sincere plea, and notice how He calls Yusuf’s going to prison as “turning (the women’s) guile and deviousness away from him”. In this, there is a great lesson for us: that sometimes, adverse events are a blessing in disguise – Allah saves us from major trials and sins by making us endure unfavorable circumstances, such as living in a threadbare condition. We should try to be happy with Allah’s decree, with the faith that what He decrees is better for us, even if we are not sure how it is better. Older people usually reflect on their past lives and acknowledge how certain bad events were better for them in the long term, although when they were living through them, they were mostly complaining because their wisdom and insight was not enough to make them see the big picture.
The second is that, in order to save our faith from corruption and our selves from falling into sin, we should be willing to relinquish comfortable environments to go to places that might be adverse for living, but better for safeguarding our Deen and chastity.
The third lesson for us is that we have to take the proactive step first, and ask Allah to help us in protecting ourselves from the evil of people; only then does Allah’s help come. We cannot be weak and lazy in our actions, and then claim that, “Why does Allah not guide me?” Yusuf could have given in to the plot of the women, in order to go on living in Aziz’s comfortable and well-provided-for residence. However, he ‘took the high road ‘to avoid disobeying Allah. Apparently, he lost out - he didn’t lie, he didn’t succumb to his mistress’ advances, and he didn’t seek to take revenge on her. He forgave her, and thus she got the chance to try to trap him again. He was thus thrown into prison for no crime, except his “ihsan” - lofty moral conduct. Being the good guy, he “lost”. However, this “loss” was only short-term, as we will find out later.
I thought about the Companions of the Cave – Ashaab Al Kahf – as I reflected upon Yusuf’s plea to Allah. They too, were young men who withdrew willingly into a cave to save themselves from the vices rampant in their society. Prophet Muhammad [صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم] too, withdrew into the cave of Hira to ponder on the purpose of life, when the ignorance and polytheism in Arabian society turned him off. It seems then, that withdrawing into a cave, prison, or secluded spot to save themselves from the evil of people, has been the way of many of our pious predecessors, as a means to protect themselves from corruption.
In the next post about Surah Yusuf, we will try to garner more lessons for ourselves as we see Yusuf’s life finally take a turn for the better, insha’Allah.
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http://muslimmatters.org/2010/02/17/lessons-from-surah-yusuf-part-3-dawah-behind-bars/
For the second time in his young life, Prophet Yusuf [عليه السلام] found himself treated unjustly, oppressed and punished for committing absolutely no crime or offence. It is interesting how he appealed to Allah that living in a prison cell would be better for him than what the women of the city were calling him towards, and it was through his life in the cell that Allah decreed for him to have future honor and respect. Despite his innocence being publicly proven and acknowledged by onlookers and witnesses, he was imprisoned.
Through this event we derive important lessons. First, it proves that oppressors in this world can get away with the wrong that they intentionally do to sincere believers, especially if they have worldly power and authority over the oppressed righteous individuals. Just as his brothers had thrown him into the well, the power and social influence wielded by Aziz’s wife facilitated her oppression of Yusuf, and even Aziz – who liked Yusuf – let her get her way. A sincere believer in Allah might suffer the same fate today, with oppressors getting him thrown out of a job, slandered, or deported from somewhere, as those who know of his innocence stand by and let it happen. This, by no means, should lead a believer to despair of Allah being by his side, but rather, as mentioned in the previous posts of this series, he should focus on accepting the decree of Allah and convincing himself that if Allah has willed this for him, it must be good for him in some way. Besides, Yusuf already opted for the prison to escape the shenanigans of Aziz’s wife and her circle.
وَدَخَلَ مَعَهُ السِّجْنَ فَتَيَانَ قَالَ أَحَدُهُمَآ إِنِّي أَرَانِي أَعْصِرُ خَمْرًا وَقَالَ الآخَرُ إِنِّي أَرَانِي أَحْمِلُ فَوْقَ رَأْسِي خُبْزًا تَأْكُلُ الطَّيْرُ مِنْهُ نَبِّئْنَا بِتَأْوِيلِهِ إِنَّا نَرَاكَ مِنَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ
“Two young men happened to go to prison at the same time as Yusuf. One of them said: “Behold, I saw myself [in a dream] pressing wine.” And the other said: “Behold, I saw myself [in a dream] carrying bread on my head, and birds were eating thereof.” [And both entreated Yusuf:] “Let us know the real meaning of this! Verily, we see that you are one of those who do well.” [12:36]
Yusuf’s good conduct and special, Allah-given expertise of dream interpretation soon attracted his first two “students” or “clients”. These two were youths who had been sent to prison at the same time as he, as the verse above states. This means that they too, were probably intimidated at first by the prison environs, and sought his company when they observed him to be righteous and agreeable in nature.
There are important lessons for us in this as well. First, each and every human being is granted some talent, skill or natural aptitude at something with which he or she can be of benefit to others or earn their livelihood. That talent just needs to be nurtured or polished through observation, practice or an environment conducive to foster progress in its early stages. Children who are still very young show natural affinity or aptitude for certain vocations, hobbies and occupations. Thus Allah grants a person his or her “key” to success in this life.
The other important lesson in this verse, especially for da’ees or callers towards Islam, is that proactively inviting others to their faith is albeit very important, but just one aspect of da’wah. By consistent good actions and conduct, a person portrays the practical picture of what it is like to be a sincere believer, and onlookers learn about Islam from him just by observation. There are very small gestures that we, as Muslims, can do in public that would invite others towards Islam e.g. giving up our seat on the tube to an elderly person who has just come on board, or offering our snack to the person sitting next to us on the bus/in a public waiting lounge, before eating from it. These small gestures paint a very positive picture of our faith, and undoubtedly it was this ‘silent’ da’wah by Yusuf that earned him not just the respect, but also the confidence, of his two prison mates.
It was after they approached him with their queries that he called them towards monotheism. A da’ee must therefore, first win the trust of people before he or she starts to proclaim/convey the message of Islam to them. Once the audience is keenly listening in, it is important to remember what to talk about first and which issues should be given priority. No doubt, a person’s basic belief or aqeedah is the first thing that needs to be checked and rectified. Therefore, after assuring his two listeners that he would be able to tell them their dream interpretations in a jiffy, he spoke about himself thus:
وَاتَّبَعْتُ مِلَّةَ آبَآئِـي إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَإِسْحَقَ وَيَعْقُوبَ
مَا كَانَ لَنَا أَن نُّشْرِكَ بِاللّهِ مِن شَيْءٍ ذَلِكَ مِن فَضْلِ اللّهِ عَلَيْنَا وَعَلَى النَّاسِ وَلَـكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لاَ يَشْكُرُونَ
Yusuf then addressed his two cell mates in an endearing manner, before asking them a question aimed at establishing the proof of tauheed/oneness of Allah:
يَا صَاحِبَيِ السِّجْنِ
“O my prison companions! Are different gods better, or Allah, The One, The Almighty?”
To sum it up, Yusuf waited to ‘strike when the iron was hot’, so to speak. He waited for the right, most appropriate moment to preach to them the oneness of Allah, when he had their full attention, just before telling them the interpretations of their respective dreams.
The lesson for us in this as da’ees is to focus on our own conduct (akhlaq) with others first, befriending them and making them feel at ease, and thereby earning us their trust. When we have their attention, we should make concise but powerful, logical arguments based on tauheeed, the oneness of Allah, and address our listeners in an endearing, affectionate manner. Even in other places in the Quran, the Prophets have addressed their sinning/erring nations as “O my people!”: a manner of address that establishes a link between the speaker and the audience.
Eventually, Yusuf told both of them their respective dream interpretations. One of them was soon to be released from prison and destined to become the ruling King’s cupbearer. When his release was imminent, Yusuf requested him to mention him positively to the King; however, Iblis made the released prisoner forget to do that. As a result, Yusuf stayed in the prison for several more years.
Several more years!
The thing with Allah’s decree is that it cannot be changed by Shaitan or anyone else. Had Allah willed, Yusuf would have been able to get out of prison immediately. But Allah had decreed for him to stay there longer, among a diverse population of convicts and criminals, for a purpose which only He knows best. Isolation and social debasement probably comprised a stringent “training program”, specially designed by Allah, for the talented future leader of Egypt. It does seem “harsh”, at first glance, that Allah would make a future Prophet spend several years of his youth in confinement, with limited, low-quality food for nourishment, and only the bare necessities of living met in a decrepit shelter, with only criminals and convicts for companions. Our lives seem so luxurious in comparison, don’t they?
Although I admit it is not a fair analogy, but whilst reflecting upon the situation of Yusuf, I was reminded of the many times I have counselled young girls and women in my social and da’wah circle, who suffer from the feeling of “isolation” after marriage. Most of them go through some bouts of depression, especially if/when they’re pregnant due to being away from their biological family, friends, and relatives. Cut off from their pre-marriage career, da’wah and social activities, they sometimes ask themselves if marriage is really “worth the sacrifice” they are making, viz. giving up their “whole life” to live with a man who is still relatively a stranger, and his family, around whom they have to be careful not to complain or show sorrow. With their husband away for most of the day, spending their time in a small apartment, in a country foreign to them, their old friends and relatives thousands of miles away, they soon become very depressed. For those living with in-laws, it is somewhat better, as they have company. Nevertheless, it can be a challenge to live away from familiar people with whom they can be frank and no-holds-barred, as opposed to ‘walking on eggshells,’ so to speak. Fortunate are those who do not experience such adjustment woes.
Mischief-seeking gossipers make matters no better, when they say things like, “What a talented, lovely, educated girl; and look how she is living! Since she got married, all she does is stay at home with the baby. Do they make her bake bread? She deserves to live in a palace like a princess, with servants doing all the work for her!” The girl’s mother nods tearfully in melancholy acquiescence. Hearsay reaches the bride in question, and she promptly descends another notch in her negative perception of life after marriage: “Am I really so unworthy that I have to spend my life in a small room that doesn’t even have an attached bath?!”
To all such girls out there, I’d say, reflect upon what happened to Yusuf. He was young, talented, righteous in behavior, and super-handsome in appearance. Yet, Allah made him dwell in a prison for years. He had committed no crime; he had always been good to others, but after suffering misery at the hands of his envious brothers, he was slandered and thrown into prison by female oppressors. He lived for years with only basic amenities, amid convicts. Yet, he endeavored to convey his religion to those around him, and accepted Allah’s decree. No doubt, this imprisonment was to be good for his future role.
Further, we can look at some more examples of righteous people living a threadbare and/or isolated existence e.g. Prophet Muhammad [صلّى اللّهُ عليه و سلّم] living in self-imposed, semi-exile in the cave of Hira before he received his first revelation; his daughter Fatimah living a life of poverty and hardship, and dying very young, after giving birth to future leaders; Maryam [عليها السلام] living in isolation in the mihraab, spending her time in worship and remembrance of Allah; Prophet Yunus [عليه السلام] being swallowed by a whale, in which he dwelled until he repented. Ponder on the lives of the Prophets and righteous people who have gone before you, and thank Allah for the isolation that you are temporarily going through. This time will surely pass, and some day you will be powerful and independent. But for now, reap the tremendous personal benefits of isolation, because it surely brings about self-actualization. Its greatest benefit is that it allows you to reconnect with Allah without distractions, remember him exclusively, and worship him with sincerity. Isolation also allows a person to explore their inner strengths, analayze their goals for the future i.e. what they want out of life, polish their personal talents and abilities without the interference of others, and keep away from negative social company, burdensome events and useless pastimes. Many successful people impose isolation upon themselves to relax, read, do research, and generate ideas for future projects.
When Yusuf had reached the requisite level of self-actualization, Allah caused the King of Egypt to have a dream that none of his courtiers could interpret. It was at this time that his cupbearer finally remembered Yusuf’s dream-interpreting talent from his prison days. This was not just a mere coincidence, but Allah’s decree at work. It was finally the time for Yusuf to come out and benefit society with his knowledge and talents.
When his ex-cellmate came to him after many years to ask him about the King’s dream, Yusuf was once more the epitome of the easy-going “nice guy”: he neither rebuked nor chastised him for forgetting to mention his dream-interpreting talent to the King upon his release from prison, nor did he refuse to tell him the dream interpretation as revenge.
Rather, his main concern, even as the King ordered his release, was the threat to his chastity that still existed outside the prison walls – the “cougars”:
فَلَمَّا جَاءهُ الرَّسُولُ قَالَ ارْجِعْ إِلَى رَبِّكَ فَاسْأَلْهُ مَا بَالُ النِّسْوَةِ اللاَّتِي قَطَّعْنَ أَيْدِيَهُنَّ إِنَّ رَبِّي بِكَيْدِهِنَّ عَلِيمٌ
And when the messenger came unto him, he (Yusuf) said: “Return to your lord and ask him what was the case of the women who cut their hands. Lo! My lord knows their guile.” [12:50]
Yusuf knew that he had been sent to prison because the women had threatened him to either do as they wished, or be imprisoned. He knew that they were still out there, and that majority of the town’s people might still be in the dark about who actually was guilty of betraying Aziz.
قَالَ مَا خَطْبُكُنَّ إِذْ رَاوَدتُّنَّ يُوسُفَ عَن نَّفْسِهِ قُلْنَ حَاشَ لِلّهِ مَا عَلِمْنَا عَلَيْهِ مِن سُوءٍ قَالَتِ امْرَأَةُ الْعَزِيزِ الآنَ حَصْحَصَ الْحَقُّ أَنَاْ رَاوَدتُّهُ عَن نَّفْسِهِ وَإِنَّهُ لَمِنَ الصَّادِقِينَ
He (the king) (then sent for those women and) said: What happened when you asked an evil act of Yusuf? They answered: “Allah preserve us! We know no evil of him.” Said the wife of Aziz: “Now the truth is out. I asked of him an evil act, and he is surely of the truthful ones.” [12:51]
At long last, the truth surfaced. Aziz’s wife confessed and proclaimed Yusuf’s innocence and righteousness before all. Thus, Allah publicly cleared Yusuf of the false charges/rumors against him, and he was honorably discharged from prison. What he said then is a lesson in humility and wisdom for all time to come:
ذَلِكَ لِيَعْلَمَ أَنِّي لَمْ أَخُنْهُ بِالْغَيْبِ وَأَنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يَهْدِي كَيْدَ الْخَائِنِينَ وَمَا أُبَرِّىءُ نَفْسِي إِنَّ النَّفْسَ لأَمَّارَةٌ بِالسُّوءِ إِلاَّ مَا رَحِمَ رَبِّيَ إِنَّ رَبِّي غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
Then (Yusuf) said: “(I asked for) this, that he (Aziz) may know that I did not betray him in secret, and that surely Allah guides not the snare of the betrayers. I do not absolve myself of blame. Indeed, the (human) soul enjoins unto evil, except the one on whom my Lord has mercy. My Lord is Forgiving, Merciful.” [12:52-53]
Despite being a Prophet of Allah and having opted for prison to escape from the women’s invitation towards adultery, he didn’t preach his “holier-than-thou-ness” or act self-righteously before everyone, after the confession was made by the Aziz’s wife. He didn’t absolve himself from evil, making it clear to the public that the human self is naturally prone to evil desires, and it is only Allah’s mercy that saves anyone – anyone – from becoming a slave to them. This statement of his could also have been directed as a measure to save Aziz’s wife from being condemned by society for her action, for which she had clearly repented. Otherwise, her confession could have triggered her public humiliation and ostracization, had Yusuf not testified to the fact that every human being is prone to evil, so no one should consider himself above it or protected from it.
This was his ultimate “moment of truth”. He could have said something tinted with disdain or arrogance to his former oppressor, as her guile and his innocence became public. But he stuck to the same nature of action of his, which is apparent throughout Surah Yusuf – that of being a “muhsin” – a doer of good. No matter what anyone did to him, he returned their actions with good. No wonder Allah calls this surah of the Quran احسن القصص ["Ahsan Al-Qasas"]: the most beautiful of stories!
No wonder Allah calls this surah of the Quran احسن القصص ["Ahsan Al-Qasas"]: the most beautiful of stories!
